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Lou is leading

Updated: Oct 21, 2021


March 11, 2021 With a deep visualization meditation I immediately feel where I am. I'm standing on the floor with an audience in arena in front of me. I speak but also stand as a listener as a student and watch the audience who makes the effort to come to this event. The conversations we have are worth gold about love, about self-care and a whole hearted life.



iI listen as I write: Hotel California - Eagles - live acoustic We hadn't had that spirit here since 1969. And still those voices are calling from far away Welcome to the hotel californie, such a lovely place.


The hall has 300 places like a university auditorium and I click with my feet in the ground. That's right. I hear there. This is exactly what I feel at a UP event - the best job of my life. I click into the ground / I literally feel a kind of A-HA you are home again, in the place where you belong when we welcome all courageous UP parents to an UP event. In my opinion, to be able to tell something well, you have to be able to write something well. That just keeps going through my head. You can't become a speaker without a book, but can you? I can talk like the best but chronologically clear, without too much chaos in good Dutch to get my story on paper, it will take me more than 2 years + big help team costs. Above all, Lou is leading. It's not my character, my way of writing, my willpower or perseverance that can slow down, still or tear down this book, that's Lou. Lou my handsome 7-year-old son has been getting my full attention every day since January 2, 2019. Before that too, but then I divided my attention as a mother and commercial entrepreneur. Now a few years later I am his healthcare provider, playmate, hospital appointment planner, therapy coordinator and resource manager, but above all his mother. This boy's birth announcement card said I will charis you, every day, every second of my lift and that promise I come every day after.


Als Lou morgen weer ernstig ziek wordt, flikker ik het boek direct weer aan de kant en staat het hele proces weer on hold. Een einddatum kan ik daarom ook niet voor ogen houden, net zoals ik de einddatum van Cprona ook heb losgelaten. Het is de natuur en deze staat boven de mens, hoe zeer we het graag anders willen. Goed, dus als je dit boek leest, dan is het er en dan ben ik überhaupt mega dankbaar (want: Lou gaat OK en schrijven is haalbaar geweest) en trots dat mijn droom ondanks Lou zijn gezondheid toch gelukt is.



So in addition to being the most guiding factor, I need an enormous amount of help writing this book. It's like I'm gathering auxiliaries around me to plant the seed in them about how important this book is and that when there's something about Lou that the process can continue of rewriting, editing, and adapting. I firmly believe in a think tank to keep an idea, company or project high in terms of energy. I alone cannot do this, precisely because of the fragility of Lou's health, of our lives. Maybe that's what I'm trying to say. I really want to share our story about the Gift of Life , because it feels like standing naked in an arena for spectators with an opinion. The idea alone. Scary. The auxiliaries I need for this book are: a writing coach, an editor, susanne as art director for the design, arianne as book director to make my intention coincide with the content, especially a club of courageous people who read everything what I also write about them and a spiritual reader who keeps me aware of my heart as the source of this book . A promise I made on day 1.


The question is, shouldn't I be seeing this whole writing process differently? I am not writing a book that will lead to an event/dream job. I'm just writing scripts and columns right now to feel a sequence in our life story of falling down and getting back up again in which I hope to inspire readers about and one day connect at events. How I think, I talk and how I talk, I write But is that feasible for the readers? Do people benefit from this? These are my biggest hindrance to bringing about Me-movement


-Myself -My high form of ADHD -Debbie Downer mood 4 days a month -Want to quote a lot of examples while I want to write intention focused from 1 intention and not from 4- -ansgt /inconvenience/uncertainty for sharing all my vulnerabilities -Thinking too big, while writing just starts with humble writing behind a desk

-Dreaming away at the idea of ​​giving lectures in Frankfurt, London, LA, New York, Toronto and Paris (also because I can visit old friends again) (Look here we go again-see point 22)


- Find room, in this room. Our home to write. - Seek silence, because only then can the writing succeed - Stuff in our house that needs to be cleaned up all day long -The continuous production of loading and unloading the dishwasher and loading and unloading the washing machine and folding that damn laundry. So there is no end to it. - Filling / emptying / cooking and taking care of the refrigerator -Feel obstacles in “writing a book is not a job” it may (now) never make money. So is it a priority? And also to my environment / partner .. Is it worth it to babysitter / ext. Arrange care? Take time off to write a book?



- The biggest obstacle is , and what I do not call or see as an obstacle, but is my care task in this life and that is the care of my son Lou. If he is ill, very tired, sleeps very badly, then of course that has an automatic effect on me. Marcella doesn't have to call because I feel it when Lou isn't well at school. And I also feel a lightness when I'm doing very well at school, I almost float through the dunes on my mountain bike. -Then there's my friend S. Write a book or watch a Netflix series at night? When we have had little time during the day, I want to be together savinds, while the stories in my head… I want to write them down so badly. Even better than watching TV, but the family is number 1. - 3.5 days we have B and D at home, the children of S and with their 10 and 12 also take a whole school life, live with friends here in the house which requires all my love, care and attention. -Bathing or writing. Bathing is my holy relax moment.


- Spending time with my wonderful family and friends (although corona also makes our circles very small and so the focus is bigger on writing the book) Podcast listening to writers and getting discouraged about statements like “Write a book and run a relationship and family don't mix” - author of grays anatomy. I can really think in the car, you see. This cannot be done. Preparing business coaching/sales strategy meetings for the advertising agency I work for, who are also very good friends. I only work for them 4 hours a week, but I also love to dive back into the commercial world -Listening to podcasts from oprah, from super soul sunday and dreaming away again how I once talked about my book in a wicker chair with her in the garden .ah. Or as my friends always jokingly say “honey, this is your way to oprah!. (crazy I know) - Dreams, hopes, miracles and distractions. To hinder (but also feed me.) -High form of Adhd (feed me too) These blockages and obstacles remain there, but the stories run in my head all day long. How can I get from blockages to freedom to a flow? I just have to type in the stories. Tomorrow I will talk to my new writing coach. She probably has some advice.


1 thing..,, if you ever want to throw away a book. Do not do it. Thank the book, lovingly caress it and give it away to someone or put it in a giveaway cupboard. I have been writing intensively for 10 months now and have written a lot in 2017 but wow What a lot of work this is,-) I now know, every writer (and his or her family too) has had to make so many concessions between family/friends/family/self time/work and writing.


I say THANK YOU

Dear writers on this planet for your effort, To turn your thoughts into writing Amen to that! I really hope from all my heart to belong to you one day x, Tien



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